


The One Where Nikki Reed Keeps Getting Involved In Stuff She Doesn't Endorse

by summerstorm



Category: Twilight RPF
Genre: Alternate Reality, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-29
Updated: 2009-01-29
Packaged: 2017-10-05 10:44:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerstorm/pseuds/summerstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five projects Nikki Reed and Kristen Stewart could have met through. Includes references to <em>Gossip Girl</em>, <em>The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants</em>, <em>Supernatural</em> and <em>Nancy Drew</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where Nikki Reed Keeps Getting Involved In Stuff She Doesn't Endorse

**Author's Note:**

> For the [](http://community.livejournal.com/drabble123/profile)[**drabble123**](http://community.livejournal.com/drabble123/) prompts #11 - perhaps, #18 - chill, #14 - strange, #16 - mistaken, and #6 - out. Also: I don't own, know or have any sort of affiliation with Nikki Reed, Kristen Stewart, Wes Craven, Josh Schwartz, Eric Kripke, Sera Gamble, Ken Kwapis, or anyone else I mentioned here. As far as I know, Kristen didn't sing anything in _In the Land of Women_ and Wes Craven does not actually have ovaries. This is really, really not true.

**you know snow white would be albino if she was as white as snow**

Playing an aspiring filmmaker with a shaved head — except that'd be too progressive for a teen show, so she keeps the curls — wasn't exactly on Nikki's list of Projects She Would Like to Tackle, but when Josh turned up on her doorstep, all flushed and Jewish, Nikki felt it'd be morally rotten to say no.

She doesn't feel anything when she meets Kristen Stewart. She's seen her in a couple movies. The kid's acting's pretty decent, and the coldness probably benefits the role. She doesn't really resemble Snow White, which is practically how the books describe Georgina — and Nikki's read about half of them, because they handed them to her and she figured, with some luck, she'd be playing Vanessa for a while — but the bitchy thing? Kristen's got that _down_.

The audience hates her.

"That probably means I'm doing something right," Kristen says at a conference. "Like, the girl's a total witch. I'd worry if people didn't _want_ her to die."

There's a round of laughter through the room. It's not funny, but Kristen's all matter-of-fact and has the shadow of a crooked smile on her lips, and people totally eat it up — the bad girl who's really not so bad after all.

Honestly, Nikki likes Kristen too. She has that way about her, like she doesn't give a fuck, but like, deep down, the girl's actually got standards. Nikki finds that hot.

"Can you tell us what's in store for G?"

"I can show you," Kristen promises, and the shadow of a smirk fulfills its destiny.

Then Kristen turns to Nikki, reaches out to cup her face, and pecks her on the mouth in a weird, delicate way, like it's all an act.

Nikki's confused.

"Except with someone else," Kristen explains. "Make your guesses, Upper East Siders."

*

**and me, poor lowly maid**

It's a good change of pace, playing someone whose biggest problem is having her parents remarry.

The best part of filming, though, is probably Ken constantly begging Kristen to lay off the sarcasm. Which, considering the fact that Kristen plays a cynical, somewhat rebellious teenager, is _hilarious_.

Nikki's never claimed to have an intelligent sense of humor.

The joke lasts for about a week, before Ken starts telling _Nikki_ to turn down the acting just a notch, because Carmen's not supposed to be that good in her first try — at least Nikki's got the americanization of Shakespeare down — and seriously, Nikki needs to stop signing on to mushy teen stuff just because her agent tells her to. This one's not as shallow as _The O.C._, if you stare at the text for long enough, but still.

"Just think of it like this," Kristen says, crossing paths with Nikki between their trailers, then looks at her and stops. She gives Nikki the once-over, and starts laughing.

"I grew up in California," Nikki points out.

"So did I," Kristen remarks. "It taught me not to wear earflaps, no matter how cold my ears were."

"Fuck you," Nikki says amiably.

"Anyway," Kristen begins, composing herself, "as I was saying, think of it like this: you're avoiding typecasting."

"Typecasting as what? The fucked-up girl? 'Cause that stuff's real, dude. That stuff requires work and research and hours of emotional drainage."

"I'm sure you won't think like that when you're thirty."

"Wanna bet?"

Kristen just snorts and leaves Nikki to seek refuge in her warm trailer.

That one lasts about five minutes, and then Kristen's slamming the door open and walking steadily towards her and kissing her like she's high on life.

"That enough to warm you up?"

Girl's a force of nature.

*

**the family business**

The CW clearly misses having a serious cult show with a kick-ass heroine to brag about, so they give green light to Kripke's project — if he replaces one of the brothers with a sister (suffragette, says the casting call, and Nikki auditions just because she finds it funny).

After several failed attempts at emotion, they realize the dynamic doesn't really work with siblings of different genders, so they bring a bunch of young actresses in.

When Kristen leaves the room, Eric extends his arms and looks up to the ceiling.

"Thank you, Lord, for giving us Samaire."

He probably expects thunder after that. The thing in his mug? _Not_ water.

Anyway, the pilot's filmed and the focus groups like it and apparently the whole "two sisters on the road hunting things" theme makes like, a feminist stand, so the network decides to go with it.

Obviously, they can't be blood sisters, so instead they're BFF. Or, as the press has taken to calling it, "essentially a sisterhood". The press gets the best fucking pot, and honestly Nikki thinks they should share, after all the crap they make her put up with.

So in one episode they're about to punch each other, because girl fights are hot — and also because it means something to the characters, but like, they're really just doing it 'cause it's hot — when Kristen suddenly gets distracted and stares at Nikki and Nikki, like, kisses her. It's a sort of punch, really, only with the tongue.

"Oh, come _on_, half the fans think Di and Sam are screwing each other anyway," Nikki says after, and Kristen cracks up.

Somehow (Nikki doesn't want to blame Sera, but come _on_, girlfriend's twisty like that), the footage manages to make its way into the gag reel.

*

**strangulation leaves a traceable handprint**

When Wes Craven picks up the Nancy Drew movie, the conservative sector goes batshit insane, and film mags class it as a daring, unexpected move with the potential to be brilliant or catastrophic, but definitely surprising.

Honestly, what draws Nikki to the movie is the potential to turn a children's classic into a thriller. It's like playing a role in the kids' education — showing them crazy at an early age so they'll be put off forever. Nikki doesn't believe in the whole "violence in videogames will turn kids into sociopaths" thing. Nikki believes it's total crap, and that kids should be aware so that they can decide if murder feels like the right thing to do for them, personally.

Wes Craven's flaky, though, so sometimes Nikki closes her eyes when he's with the producers and chants, "Please let it be more Red Eye than Scream, please let it be more Red Eye than Scream", with her fingers crossed, pacing back and forth in her trailer and trying to ignore the itch of the tweed skirt on her thighs.

She's not insane, she just sounds it.

After all, either Wes Craven or the producers turn out to have bigger ovaries than she'd anticipated, and she finds herself doing photoshoots for Teen Vogue, answering questions like 'What was it like to play detective?' and holding hands with EmmaRobertsfrom_Twilight_, though she's never met her before.

This was one crappy career choice, she reflects.

For CosmoGirl, she's photographed wearing plaid with Kristen Stewart, who smokes between takes and looks like she hasn't slept in a week.

"Be affectionate," the photographer says. "You're actresses, for fuck's sake."

The lighter part of the kiss makes it into the magazine, under the headline 'Nikki Reed: "Kristen and I are BFF's"'.

_Huh_. Nikki would have called it lesbians.

*

**so the lion fell in love with the singer slash songwriter**

It starts innocently enough: a song at a birthday party, a song at a post-awards party, a song in a romantic drama — Kristen's not counting. Then, someone approaches her about a single, and it does well enough on Adam Brody's fame only that they sign a record deal with Kristen, and soon enough she's touring the country with her very own country band.

She doesn't actually like country, is the thing, and she thinks her music's a lot more pop than that, but it's what comes easily to her, and she's gotta pay the bills somehow.

The funny part is, she can't sing. She whispers most songs, her voice gets heavily edited in the studio, and she lip-syncs. She feels kinda bad about giving lip-synced concerts, because these people are paying to hear her _live_, but tickets are like ten dollars a pop so twelve-year-olds can drag their parents with them, so whatever. It's not like she's doing the Super Bowl.

She's somewhere in Illinois when her agent calls.

"Guess what?"

Kristen doesn't bother.

"I got you a spot in a movie."

"_What_?" Kristen shrieks. "You serious?"

"Like a heart attack, missy. I got that love song of yours on the soundtrack for this vampire blockbuster."

Kristen sighs. "Right."

She meets Nikki in the restroom at the LA premiere.

"Wanna get out of here?" Nikki says. Kristen _does_.

"So, like," Kristen attempts. "How'd you wind up in this?"

Nikki looks at her. "I was high."

"That makes sense."

They take five days to hit the tabloids, probably 'cause the pap couldn't get anyone to pay for the pictures.

On the bright side, her sales go up 150% that week, and she snatches #8 on iTunes, so, like. She gets laid _and_ an awesome publicity stunt. She's not complaining.

-

[+]  
When the pap leaves, after having documented Nikki, the blockbuster bombshell, and Kristen, the famous country-pop singer, having a little tête-à-tête, Kristen turns to her and blows a puff of smoke on her face.

"So," Kristen says, and takes a dangerous step towards Nikki. "Is Emma as infuriating in real life as she is on film?"

Nikki ponders this. "She's got more of a personality. Sort of."

"Does she ever sing?"

"Not that I know of," Nikki muses. "Even if she did, she wouldn't have half your pull."

"Baby, you know it," Kristen whispers, almost with a melody, and captures Nikki's lower lip between her teeth.

That one doesn't make the rounds.


End file.
